Joshua Berman
Times of Israel, Sept. 12, 2021
“But why do biblical figures seemingly resolve their tensions only non-verbally? Why is there nothing akin to “I’m sorry for what I did,” and “I forgive you”?”
It’s that time of year when Jews are called upon to express contrition for wrongs done to another, and for the aggrieved to accept the gesture and grant forgiveness. But just don’t turn to the Bible for lessons about this, because, remarkably, you won’t find any.
Consider the word we use in modern Hebrew to ask for and to grant forgiveness – selichah. No one in the Bible ever asks another person for selichah. And no person ever grants another person selichah, either. In the Bible, people only ask for and receive selichah from the Almighty. And when you look carefully at how that word is used you see that when God grants selichah it has a single meaning: that He has suspended punishment.
The rabbis of the Talmud have a word for asking for and granting forgiveness – mechilah. That word doesn’t appear in the Bible at all. Nor is there any word comparable for our term, apology.
The issue isn’t just one of language. There are simply no stories anywhere in the Bible – using any terms – where one person expresses remorse to another, and that person, in turn, accepts the gesture and expresses forgiveness.
Some point to the final episode of the story of Joseph and his brothers as a story of forgiveness. But rather than expressing remorse to Joseph, the brothers lie in the name of their dead father in order to save their skin. The terms they use are all ones that elsewhere mean one thing: please do not punish us. And when Joseph accedes, it is not because he is moved by their contrition – he actually reminds them of their heartlessness – but because they were pawns in the divine plan. The sale had to happen in order to bring Joseph to Egypt. … SOURCE